Watched haibane renmei! loved it a lot, i found it really comforting and I already wanna watch it again. I read the manga too its short but still pretty.

I like reki a lot.... possibly cried a little during the end and on, relate.... thankful for anime girls with abandonment issues, reki is very me.. i cant express how much i love her character.
(Spoilers) Clips

Haven't made many logs recently beacue I want to make a seperate more organized page for it.

Disclaimers: spoilers

I LOVE FUCKING POSTAL 2!!!!!!!!!! got postal 2 souly because it was 1$ on steam and I have 1.75$ but I've been playing it nonstop for 5 hours I'm having an absolute blast. So far I'm on wensday and am playing the classic pos2 but I'll play the edited one when I speed run it next round for an achivement.

I forget how fun 90s/00s western made games are because I only play otaku shit and visual novels.

Disclaimers: spoilers.

The nicest thing I can say about Death in Venice is the filming and scenary is beautiful. Everything about it is acurate to 1800s and although the movie is slow paced it did a good job of keeping me wondering what was going to happen next.

I watched both the Death in Venice and its documentary so I will kind of be going over both here.

Now plot wise,,, I personally think Luchino Visconti is an idiot for thinking novel Death in Venice was such a work of art. Knowing about Björn Andrésen and how being chose to play tazio did so much damage to him, makes it... not so fun to watch. When I've watched Death in Venice it felt like I wasn't watching Tazio "acting", it was like watching a normal person doing normal things but being seen as angelic because of his apearence, even Björn Andrésen said he felt as if he wasn't acting. Yes I think Björn Andrésen is a very beautiful, however I couldn't watch Death in Veince without thinking about the effect it had on Andrésen's life.

Plot summery
Death in veince is about an old pianoist who travels to Venice when arriving at his hotel, he notices tadzio and watches him from afar, throughout the movie becoming obsessed with Tazios beauty and falls in love with him. Later on he questions why the town is being disinfected and is imformed why and is warned to leave. He then warns Tazios family to get out, but before he leaves he fallows Tadzio around, most likely to confess but ends up dying due to the disease going around I'd assume.

I'm not a hudge fan Death in Veice's plot... Well for starters the man who falls in love with Tadzio is well. very obviously. an old man, and Tadzio is in his teens. This old man only falls in love with him for his "beauty" seeing him as a work of art, he never talks him which makes it kinda weird. maybe that wouldn't be so weird if I could see it as acting I do think Tadzios movements are elegent and the way he stares off into space too. From Luchino Visconti's words "to fallow the beauty is to fallow death" and if that means fallowing underage boys around means you get death then I'm all for it but otherwise its a bunch of baloney to me. Although I think the filming is nice, I think Luchino Visconti took too much meaning in that novel.

Anyway a big reason I watched Death in Venice was due to how Björn Andrésen had inspired so many early shojo mangaka.

Disclaimers: Talk of 18+ media, spoilers.

MAJOR SPOILERS!!!
Finished kazeki and honestly I didnt want to i want to read more of it T_T im probably going to re-read ir right away because I love it so much.



(I think about this scene and part of the manga so much.)I knew when I started reading kazeki that it wouldn't have a happy ending but there certinly was a moment during kazeki where I felt there was going to be it was very refreshing getting to see them happy together to see gilbert, going to class with serge and having fun it was like gilbert was healing a bit, it made me feel like for a second there was a happy ending i like to pretend the ending doesnt exist and they're doing very well and great together.

The ending
jaisjdiajijij arhhhhh h

I refused to belive gilbert was dead so when sarge was cleaning gilberts corpse i just sat there thinking "yea hes still alive. hes alive. he'll heal. he's gonna speak any moment now" and then serge closed his eyes and I was like "oh."


i cant possibly dump all my thoughts out but i really do wanna reread it so i can fully understand and remeber every bit of it and because its such an amazing manga.



HRHGGGHHH hsuifiijgjdhjkhg sniffle sjhudfhusduh JHHDHGHFHHFHFHGHHHH GAHHHGFRYYRRR sgnff snfiff
i relate to gilbert. a very very normal amount. thank you gilbert for the bpd bishounen rep thank you gilbert. you can only get the full experience reading kazeki if you're seasoned with abandonment issues.

Art & covers

Disclaimers: Talk of 18+ media

Progress: Vol.7 ||
I've been reading kaze to ki no uta quite a lot and it really is one of those books that my tiny pea brain can't stop reading, it's so so intriguing to me. keiko's art is so wonderful i also love manga with historic themes. I think Gilbert is truly an astonishing character, the way hes written feels so realistic, sometimes i have to put kazeki down when reading it because some of it just hits home a little too hard. thank you gilbert 4 the bishounen bpd rep. I haven't been this intrigued in a manga since I read innocent. so yea I love kaze to ki no uta a whole lot so far

Most listened songs this month ||

these are most listened songs aside from what I constantly listen to I play buck-tick & goatbed all the time ^_^